Mistakes
by sez101
Summary: One mistake, one day, what happens when Lara messes up please review


Lara sat on the steps outside rescue holding her head in her hands. She wasn't going to cry she promised herself even as she felt the hot, wet tears drip onto her cheek. How had such a good day ended up so wrong? She woke up early feeling great, no traffic meant she had made it into work early with enough time to finish all her paperwork and grab the last mug of coffee. The team had arrived soon after and they had teased Chase on his 'date' last night, the date going wonderfully all the way to the bedroom where she wasn't all woman! he had reportedly discovered according to Jordan who set the 2 of them up. Poor Chase it always seemed to happen to him!

Then the call, a car crash, mother and father with 2 children on the school run had crashed into the dense scrub land, the mother and the children were unconscious, a scared father had made the call.

Lara paired with Heidi, Lara drove quickly to the scene making it their seconds before the other truck. She had taken charge of this rescue, Dean was off all day meaning everything was her call.

She got the father out first, conscious talking, and fairly mobile, it was then she noticed the leaking fuel tank. The summer's heat was oppressive, the car was simmering, smoke escaping the engine, it was in an instant inferno just waiting to happen.

Vince and Michelle had ordered them out, to wait for the fiery's as soon as Lara reported it to them. Lara assessed the situation ordering Chase and Jordan to grab the kids not assessing them but easily able to free them from the jail that could soon be there deathbed. A quick look at the mother showed she was in tight they'd need to get the cutters- which unless they stopped and cleaned the fuel spill would spark and ignite the car. They dragged the screaming father to a safe distance. As soon as they cleared it the car exploded, shrapnel flew through the air. Lara took cover hoping everyone else had done the same, it was clear as the smoke cleared the mother was dead, there was no way possible that she could have survived. But that wasn't drawing Lara's attention, the older child had a windscreen wiper impaled in their chest the explosion having sent it flying, Jordan was packing around it trying to stop the bleeding. Lara ran to help Jordan, knowing it was futile. Arriving she knew the child was dead. One glance at Jordan told her he knew the same. They covered him with a blanket before helping Chase and Heidi. The child was clutching Heidi's hand her eyes wide open, fear evident in them.

"You're going to be ok" Heidi reassured her repeatedly as the girl began being sick. They rolled her to her side to protect her airway. Lara administered a dose of anti-sickness. Suddenly the girl seized and stopped breathing her lips rapidly swelling. From behind Lara was grabbed. She flew around landing on the floor

"You're killing her" he yelled pummelling her with his fists hitting her shoulders and her face. Lara tried to fight him off, Chase was there hauling the guy off

"She is saving her" Chase yelled. Lara didn't hesitate in jumping back in with the chest compressions. The paramedics rolled up with the fire brigade behind. They took over the CPR, loading her into the ambulance. The father came over Chase staying in between them

"If she dies I'll blame you" he said pointing his finger at Lara before getting in the ambulance. It drove away as the police arrived. They each gave their statements, as person in charge they interviewed Lara first and for the longest asking her about the decisions she had made and why. Happy with her and the way she had followed policy they left. Lara packed up the truck silently, Chase tried to offer support but Lara ignored him. She just wanted to get back to base finish her day and go to bed. She drove back with Chase in the truck not noticing his white knuckle grip on the arm rest at her slightly rash driving. They arrived at base. Vince was waiting, as he often was after a hard rescue, he would asses them all for signs of stress. Lara pulled up jumping down from the truck heading for the showers, not even acknowledging Vince standing there.

"She ok?" Vince asked Chase, who shook his head staring worriedly at where Lara had disappeared.

"I don't think so, don't think any of us are" Chase replied still having the smell of burning flesh in his nostrils and on his clothes, still able to hear the screams of the father as the car exploded. "It was a bad one" he muttered shaking off Vince's grip to go and shower.

Coming out the shower Lara didn't feel any better, she could still smell them, even her lemon soap and fresh clothes had done nothing to help her. Leaving she walked to Michelle's office to report in dread growing with every step. If only she had grabbed the mother too or driven quicker, why had she given Cyclizine not Ondaestron, sure they manual said Cyclizine but there was a higher chance of a reaction. The screams of the father echoed in her head as she rubbed the red areas on her shoulder and her chin. She deserved the bruises and worse. Inside Michelle's office she could see Vince talking, it seemed serious by their expressions, she hesitated outside but Michelle saw her waving her in.

"Hey Lara take a seat" Michelle invited, Lara did deliberately choosing the one by the door. "The police have cleared rescue said it was a hard job but you guys did the best that you could" Michelle said

"Any news on the girl?" Lara asked

"It's not looking good" Vince replied, Lara nodded taking a deep breath in and looking at her hands promising herself she wouldn't cry.

"Are you ok, you look pretty beaten up do you want to press charges?" Michelle asked catching a glimpse of the red marks on her face and arms.

"The man had just lost his wife and son" Lara defended

"He beat you" Vince argued strongly his voice rising, as his protective streak rose up. He was just glad Dean wasn't here otherwise he would have killed the father with his bare hands. On seeing Laras bruised and swelling face Vince wasn't sure if he had enough self-control to stop himself finding the man and pummelling him.

"It's ok I understand" Lara replied, her head down refusing to make eye contact with either of them

"It's never ok to hit a member of my team, but if you don't want to press charges we won't make you but I do want you to write your report and take the rest of the day off tomorrow to. Get some air" Michelle ordered. Lara nodded practically running out of the office to her desk writing up every little detail. Finishing she exited quickly going to her car. She drove around trying to get her head straight to get perspective but it didn't work. Instead she stopped at a gift shop buying a teddy for the little girl, then driving to the hospital.

Arriving she got out her car, taking a deep breath clearing her lungs of the nerves and clutching the teddy protectively to her chest with the get well card gripped in one hand she marched in. Arriving outside the children's ward she hesitated was this a good idea? The child, Amanda had been really sick and she wasn't on her father Tom's most loved list. Still Lara never backed down from a challenge, never wussed out. Lara pressed the buzzer her hand shaking as she did so. A nurse answered the door remaining shut.

"I'm here to see Amanda Cartwright" Lara told her

The door buzzed open. Lara entered to be greeted by a small petite Filipino nurse.

"Are you family?" she asked her voice sympathetic as she skilfully guided Lara into a strategically placed visitors room.

"No I'm with rescue we pulled her out the car" Lara explained her heart sinking

"I'm sorry we tried everything we could but she didn't make it" the nurse explained. Lara stood her legs shaky she handed the nurse the teddy

"Thank you please give this to a child who needs it" Lara walked slowly out of the nurses eyesight before bolting to the car tears streaming in her eyes. Arriving at the car she fumbled with the keys, then a shadow fell in front of her.

"Tom, I'm so sorry" Lara began, filled with remorse and sorrow.

"You should be, you bitch" he slammed his arm down on her car denting the roof slightly. Lara backed away leaving the key in the door

"I am truly sorry" Lara began

"Sorry well its ok if you're sorry. What good does that do me I've lost my babies and my wife Sarah because of you. You didn't even check to see if Sarah was alive, then didn't even try to save Kate, Amanda was alive until you got there."

"She had a reaction, we didn't know she had allergies"

"You going to pay, I've lost everything because of you now you're going to lose everything you have ever loved. You'll see" With that he turned walking a few paces away before turning and hitting Lara around the face as hard as he could. She fell to the floor clutching her cheek, watching as he walked away. Slowly Lara struggled to her feet, checking her face in the mirror. It was a good job she had 2 days off; if Vince saw it he would flip out. Getting into the car she drove home. Arriving home she went to the basement deciding a workout was needed to work off the pent up stress. Going upstairs she turned her iPod off. Something caught her eye, the front door was open she was sure she had closed it. Then suddenly from behind a piercing sharp pain to her skull, Lara had no time to even register the threat before crumbling to the floor.

Tom stood above her hammer in hand. His plan for revenge was working perfectly. Carefully he picked up her body, dragging her to her own bedroom tying her hands up as he made himself at home. The fridge was full of cold beers. He popped a cap taking a sip of the refreshing liquid. He had so many options available for revenge. He eyed the knives in the kitchen getting an idea. He drank the beer waiting for her to wake up. It was no fun if she was unconscious, getting bored he threw a bottle of water over her. She stirred

"Hello Lara remember me? You killed my family and I want revenge" He said grinning,

"Look I'm sorry, they were injured I tried to help but it didn't work."

"Your right it didn't work, I was happy I had a family then you came along and destroyed it." He used his fists punching her. Lara tried to avoid his fists but with her hands and feet tied there was nowhere to go. His fists began to hurt so he stopped surveying her bloody body. Grabbing the knife he plunged it into her abdomen leaving it there. Lara screamed in pain as the blood began running from her abdomen down onto the bed.

Tom laughed watching the pain and her struggle desperately to get free or stem the bleeding her bindings allowing her to do either. She was going to die they both knew it slowly and in pain. Tom dropped the knife. This was the perfect ending to her pathetic life. Taking the last sip of the beer he threw that to the floor as well watching as it smashed against the wall. He smiled.

"I guess this is goodbye, I hope you enjoy hell" he laughed removing the sock off Lara's foot and shoving it into her mouth. "Don't want the neighbours hearing you scream." He smiled as he put it in. It was really smelly and sweaty she was gagging, she would practically choke on her own vomit. If he wasn't worried about getting caught he would have watched.

He left ensuring closing the door firmly.

Back in the bedroom Lara struggled desperately against the bindings, nobody was expecting to see her for 2 days. She'd be dead in an hour if the bleeding continued the way it was.

Working the gag out of her mouth she finally managed to spit it out. Sucking in deep mouthfuls of air, it had never tasted so good as she vomited tilting her head to the side. It rolled out of her mouth and down her face resting in her hair, but the motion caused waves of pain in her abdomen. If it had hit the liver she knew she would have minutes left. The spleen could give her a few hours, bowel, kidneys or pancreas maybe longer if she was lucky. She needed help, she began screaming rattling the bed as much as she could trying to claw her way free. He knew his knots she wasn't going anywhere and now the detached house was seemingly like a terrible idea so was buying a wooden slate bed to be honest.

Slowly she focused on her left hand relaxing it straining the other bonds to bring her head closer to it. Finally she managed to grasp it with her teeth pulling her hand free. It worked as the knot loosened, 5 more tries and she slipped her hand out. It took a few minutes for the blood to return enough for it to be functional. Wiggling her fingers they finally moved enough for her to control them and she untied the other arm. While the right hand recovered the circulation having been cut off for longer and having been pulled much tighter it was dead. Next was the bleeding the whole bed was soaked, just within reach was her nightgown. She used that to try to plug the bleeding. Sitting up her stomach protest and she vomited again. She ignored it breathing through the dry heaves to free her feet.

This is where it was going to get tricky. The house phone was in the kitchen, the mobile in the hall both were the other side of the house. Grasping the nightie tightly she swung her legs off the bed, weakly she stood stumbling forwards using the wall for support. The pain was incredible as she fell to the floor, giving up walking she started crawling.

Crawling was worse than walking the bent position adding extra stress to her abdomen. Giving p wasn't an option, she thought of all those people they had rescued with seconds or minutes before they had died, she was determined to be one of them. Reaching the top of the stairs she carefully swung her legs so she was sitting on the edge. A sharp pain sent her tumbling down the stairs feet first hitting every step on her abdomen sent her blacking out at the bottom.

A knock at the door stirred her.

"Lara" It was Dean's voice, then more knocking

"Dean" Lara murmured, teetering on the edge of consciousness,

"Lara are you in Chase rang said it was a hell of a day, I brought beer and pizza" Dean offered ringing the doorbell.

"Dean" Lara whispered praying he wouldn't leave, she wasn't going to die alone if he was here. And she was dying, her hands were getting colder, her body was shutting down slowly. "Dean" she called again using what was surely her dying breaths. She knew he would never hear her so with one last ditch attempt to get his attention she rolled over deliberately knocking the table over. It made a loud bang she just hoped it was loud enough to attract Dean's attention.

More knocking at the door indicated at the very least he hadn't left.

"Lara was that you?" Dean asked bending down looking through the front window seeing nothing abnormal but he could have sworn he heard a bang. He knew Lara had no pets. Trusting his instinct he circled around the back. Nothing in the kitchen was disturbed as far as he could see, he checked again moving from far left to far right. On the far right something was wrong, he could see something spilled on the carpet, something red! Was it wine Lara normally drank white? It was enough to make him concerned. Either she was drinking heavily and not cleaning up spills or it wasn't wine. He ran to the back door, knowing from past visits it was old and could easily be broken down. He was now grateful she hadn't taken his advice to replace it. As it easily fell to the floor

"Lara" he yelled running towards the stain. It wasn't wine it was blood with Lara lying a few feet away, the blood was clearly hers, he stood motionless for only a second wondering how much blood she had lost, there was plentiful on the stairs sporadically on the carpet, on the walls even a few drops on the ceiling. His training kicked in as he comprehended the scene. Lara's emergency pack was by the door next to her phone. He dialled 111 placing it on speaker as he began unpacking the emergency bag.

"Hello this is Dean Gallagher from rescue I need an ambulance asap, please as quick as you can t 125 Spring Street"

"OK what's the emergency?" The operator calmly asked,

"Lara Knight my colleague, has been stabbed, she has lost a lot of blood" Dean began properly packing the wound. As he ran through his training he tuned out the operator they knew where he was.

Her airway was good, and although laboured she was breathing for herself, he placed an oxygen mask on her to help give her the maximum he could but with it being only a small emergency bottle it would only last 10 minutes on full whack. Next was circulation, he didn't need to take her blood pressure to know it was in her boots but he could try to fix that. With great difficulty he got intravenous access in and began fluids squeezing them in as quickly as he could. Her pulse was thready and fast. He was losing her.

"Come on Lara" he murmured begging her to wake up as he squeezed the fluids though as hard as he could.

"Please don't die just hold on" he began crying as he begged his friend to fight for her life, "Lara hold on, help is on its way." The bag emptied quickly he changed it squeezing the next one through. The bleeding had slowed now Dean could only hope that it because the blood was clotting not running out. Hearing sirens outside he shot a prayer upwards to the Lord for making them so fast. They came around the back

"Hey Dean what do we have?" the younger guy called Ricky asked kneeling down beside them recognising the patient as Lara as he took a closer look, "Lara?"

"Yeah, stab wound to her left upper quadrant abdomen, lots of blood loss I've given her 2 bags of fluids and tried to pack it. Currently self-ventilating, pulse is 130 weak and thready, peripherally cold"

Katherine stepped in with the stretcher.

"Oh my…." She trailed off surveying the blood loss evident,

"We need to get her to the OR" Ricky informed her urgency lacing his voice. His hands were deep in the wound clamping pressure on the bleeding.

"Load her up" Katherine ordered grabbing her feet as Dean grasped under her arms. Easily they swung her onto the awaiting gurney. Rushing her out of the front door and into the waiting ambulance in record time they sped off to the hospital. As they left the police pulled up to secure the scene.

The blue light cleared the traffic faster than Dean had ever seen it. As if the traffic knew that the person inside was only minutes from certain death.

Lara stopped breathing on the way only having a weak cardiac output as well they began chest compression and invasive ventilation. Her pulse was now unreadable as was her blood pressure so low the machines couldn't read it. They rang the emergency team to be waiting so as they pulled in 2 minutes after they started chest compressions a full trauma team was waiting. As soon as they stopped the doors were open Lara was wheeled out and into the ER. Dean was held back by Katherine

"Dean let them do their job," she warned, "Plus you need to get changed, come with me I'll get you some scrubs," Dean let himself be lead to the showers, Katherine let him in. As he showered getting Lara's blood off himself she got the scrubs out. Dean was only 3 minutes before he was out and in scrubs. Ricky had since joined them

"There starting blood transfusions and rushing her to OR" He informed Dean, "there is nothing we can do now but wait"

"I need a phone" he begged needing his team to be there with him.

"Sure you can use this one" Katherine said giving him the reception phone. Dean dialled the number he had so many times before dreading this phone call more than any other.

"Hello Michelle speaking" Michelle's calm voice answered the phone. Dean took a deep breath trying to calm himself, his hands shaking so much he could barely answer the phone

"It's Dean" he choked out, feeling the tears well up inside him. Sure colleagues had been hurt before but not in their own home, not when they were supposed to be safe. Not Lara.

"Dean what's wrong?" Michelle came back clearly worried.

"Dean, mate everything ok" Vince asked after a pause. Michelle had obviously put him on speaker.

"It's Lara" he managed to say, as he recalled her pale lifeless body being wheeled away. "She was attacked" he finished as he mentally shook at the recollection of doing chest compression on his friend. The sound of the ribs snapping, the whoosh of the rise her chest to the oxygen being forced in and that horrible beep as the machine desperately searched for life.

"Where are you Dean?" Michelle prompted. They could tell it was serious it took a lot to shake Dean up this much.

"South west Hospital,"

"We are on our way." Michelle promised. In the background he could hear the team scrambling. It was reassuring to know they were on their way.

He put the phone down feeling the weight of the world resting on his shoulders.

"Come on I'll show you the waiting room." Katherine said, leading him to a private room. There Ricky was already prepping a cup of tea. Dean took it gratefully. Politely they excused themselves after all there were more patients to save.

Dean sat in the chair watching the clock how was it possible for time to go so slow. He tried to take him mind off Lara, the feeling of the blood squelching against his hands as he pumped down trying to give her life. He went to the sink desperate to clean the blood off his hands.

What happened he began to wonder, who had stabbed her, how had she gotten to the bottom of the stairs, she had obviously fallen down so where was she stabbed. Was she just stabbed or had something else happened? So many questions spun through his mind.

As if someone heard him a knock at the door signalled the arrival of 2 police officers, Dean recognised them both Sony and Freddie.

"Dean we need to take a statement" Sony explained apologetically.

"It's ok" Dean said grateful to have a distraction.

"Can you tell us what happened today?" Sony asked

"Sure, I was on my day off doing some painting. My brother Chase rang me, said I might want to stop by Lara's that it had been a hell of a day, I finished painting the room then stopped off a the liquor store brought some beer then at the pizza shop. I drove to Lara's her car was in the drive so I knew she was home or on a run. I knocked on the door nobody was home but I could see her running shoes on the porch. I kept knocking for maybe another minute, then heard a crash. I put the pizza and beer down and walked around the back I saw something from the kitchen window and knew it was blood so I smashed the back door in. Then I found her I put pressure on the wound as I called an ambulance."

"Ok did you see anything unusual?"

"Apart from the blood and my colleague bleeding to death…" Dean responded getting angry.

"Easy we have to ask, you know that" Freddie jumped in. Dean took a breath

"Sorry, what happened?"

"We found the majority of blood upstairs on the bed. We think that is where she was stabbed. There was also a bloody knife nearby. There is evidence she was tied to the bed so we have asked staff to do a rape screen but the fact she was still clothed when she came in is an encouraging sign. The blood trail leads us to think she got free and crawled to the stairs where she fell down. Then pulled over the table to get your attention you know the rest." Sony finished.

"Any suspects?" Dean asked

"Not yet do you know anyone with a grudge against Lara?" Freddie questioned

"Nope her mother is dead, her father in a nursing home, no siblings, nobody hates her."

"I can think of one person" Vince's voice signalled their arrival.

"How is she Dean?" Michelle asked,

"Not great she crashed on the way here we were doing CPR most the way"

"How long?" Vince asked

"5 minutes" Dean guessed,

"What happened?" Chase asked as they all entered the room taking seats around the place.

"Lara was stabbed I found her at home bleeding out."

"Vince what did you mean when you said you knew who was behind it?" Sony asked

"Tom Cartwright, the father we rescued today, his wife and 2 children died. Lara was in charge but it was futile. Lara went to visit the hospital and he assaulted her in the car park"

"Assaulted her how?" Dean asked anger lacing her voice.

"Threats mostly but he did punch her and dent her car?" Vince recalled

"Did you file a police report?" Sony questioned.

"Lara didn't want to said the guy had suffered enough but we did file a rescue report which I will forward to you" Michelle offered.

"That would be great. Anybody else anyone can think of as a suspect?" Freddie asked, they all shook their head no.

"We will question him, hope she is ok" Sony added as they both left.

"thanks" Michelle said closing the door to the waiting room. The silence was deafening as they just all sat there. Occasionally someone shuffled in their seat or walked to make a coffee or glass of water but the clock kept ticking.

4 hours it took before someone knocked on the door. A young man in scrubs entered followed by a slightly older woman wearing a light blue scrubs they both took seats next to the door.

"You're here for Lara Knight correct?" the woman enquired

"Yeh, is she ok?" Dean asked anxiously.

"I won't lie her condition is critical. She lost a great deal of blood and was technically dead when she was brought to us. We took her to theatre and had to give her 7 pints of blood, we removed some damaged bowel and all of her spleen. What is worrying us at the moment is that she hasn't woken up after the anaesthetic we think her body has just put itself into a coma to heal and that she will wake up in the next day or 2 but as she was technically dead for 8 minutes even though CPR was done there is the chance that irreversible brain damage has been done. However the CT scan of her head is good. If she doesn't wake up in the next 48hours we will have to start testing to ensure she isn't brain dead. For the moment we are keeping her in ITU ventilated and sedated we will try to wake her up every 4 hours." The woman paused allowing it to sink in. "I'm her physician Dr Peters, ICU Consultant, this is her nurse for today, Harry. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask us" She added

"Can we see her?" Dean asked

"Of course I have to ask though only 2 visitors at a time, otherwise the bed space gets a little cramped. For now we will have to ask that you stay no longer than an hour just while we get set up then you are welcome every 2 hours for 30 minutes this allows our patients to get rest."

"I'm going" Dean said with no negotiation, the others agreed.

"Michelle you should go then you have to go home Ian and the little one will be missing you" Vince decided. The others nodded disappointed it wasn't them but understanding it made sense.

Dean and Michelle followed Harry out of the relatives room. Pausing outside ICU Harry began speaking

"When we go in I don't want you to be alarmed she is hooked up to a lot of monitors and wires." He warned helping to mentally prepare them, "We also have her sedated so she might move her fingers or toes or even try to speak that's normal but she isn't awake."

They entered ICU, both scanning the room to try and see her overwhelmed slightly at the number of patients. A few were sat up talking the rest lay still tubes in either there mouth or throat. Spotting Lara Dean practically ran over, Michelle not far behind.

"Hey Lara its Dean you got to fight do you hear me fight" nothing changed her monitors plodded on the same her chest rising and falling with the machine. "Please Lara fight I can't lose you" he whispered scared to even touch her in case he broke something.

"Hey Lara" Michelle greeted giving Dean chance to breath. Her heart was breaking watching him beg Lara to live. "it's Michelle, we love you and we know you're fighting we are here when you wake up". She reached forwards grasping Lara's hand.

"Please Lara," Dean joined in openly weeping at the sight of the woman he loved fighting for her life. "Please I love you I know I should have told you but I have now and I need you in my life, please Lara don't leave me" He was now sobbing in earnest. Michelle was thrown she had always suspected but here was confirmation. She left her side of the bed walking to Deans and wrapping an arm around him offering what comfort she could.

Neither one of them were aware of the looks of sympathy they were gaining from other relatives and staff. It wasn't the first time they had seen this and they all had days when they cried, got angry, smiled, they all left one way or another but on this unit the visitors tended to band together offering support to one another some even coming back to see the nurses after their relative was discharged.

After 10 minutes Michelle decided it was time to swap. Hugging Dean and kissing Lara on the forehead she left. Vince was in next.

"Hey mate" he greeted Dean "Hey Lara, I'm sorry I should have totally made you submit that incident form to the police, I shouldn't have sent you home, I should have…." He sat on the chair his mind full of things he could have done better.

"You couldn't have known" Dean said putting his hand on Vince's shoulder. "I should have been there, I only took the day off because I was too hung over"

"It wasn't your fault either Dean, your allowed the day off." Vince informed him. "Truth is it could have been any of us," He sat there for a while with Dean both absorbed in their own thoughts watching Lara, or the tracing of her heart on the machine, reassured it was sinus rhythm and her blood pressure was low but a lot more normal. After a while he noticed there was only an hour left.

"I better let the others come in" he got up and Heidi replaced him, then Jordan and lastly Chase. They figured he'd be better to help the nurses bully Dean out but to everyone's surprise with a kiss to the temple he left with no fight knowing they needed space.

Out in the waiting room the others were there having agreed shifts. Vince was first, then Heidi, then Chase then Jordan, lastly Michelle each would do 2 hours of visiting twice a day. Dean would then be free to visit at all time or when he felt like it. As if they all knew he wouldn't leave.

After food and a cup of coffee they made their way back up to the waiting room. Relatives of other patients had already gathered.

"Hey I'm Sally, my husband Kevin is here, your new here who are you visiting?" she asked sitting next to Vince

"Our friend Lara, she was stabbed,"

"My husband was in a car crash drunk driver hit him 3 months ago now." Sally paused remembering that day. "He smashed his skull had to have a plate inserted, his leg was amputated, and he was reboweled but were getting there now" she sighed, "I guess what I wanted to say is everyone here is going through something similar, if you need to talk, scream, shout, vent please just find one of us. Not many people thankfully understand what we are going through, sleepless nights, balancing work with visiting, the ups and the many downs. But there is support us and the nurses and doctors even the cleaners are fantastic even my stupidest questions they answered." She ended as the door opened and the nurse indicated visiting had started. "I hope Kev is awake today" she prayed as she left them.

Dean waited until she was out of earshot

"We rescued him, I never thought he'd make it, we left half his brain on the road."

"We get lucky most the time" Vince decided on seeing Lara he amended it "sometimes we don't"

"Hey guys your right on time" Harry greeted, "we are going to try to wake her up a little bit, we've already reduced the ventilator slightly and her lungs have picked up the slack" Harry paused waiting for questions to begin when none were forthcoming he continued. "If she wakes up she will be very confused, she might pull at her tubes, or kick out. This is normal. Also if I say you need to step back, please step back" Harry warned. They reduced the sedation ready.

"How long?" Dean questioned

"Depends a few minutes maybe" Harry said they waited, after 20 minutes nothing had happened, "its ok we will try again later"

They sat until the end of visiting once again being forced to leave. This time as they left people were setting up beds on some of the chairs. Sally came over

"I know it seems strange but you have got to sleep when you can or you're no good to anyone but especially not to them"

Dean nodded he did feel exhausted.

"Vince you may as well go home, I don't think that there will be enough chairs here anyway." Dean nabbed the last one with a blanket.

"Ok Dean Heidi will be here soon" Vince said leaving. Dean settled on the chair.

2 hours later Heidi arrived. Together they went in repeating the performance again, and again with Jordan, Chase and Michelle. Still Lara didn't wake up. Every time they reduced the sedation she remained asleep.

They did get word from the police. They had found Tom Cartwright he had written a full confession before shooting himself in the head. He was no longer a problem but his actions were.

Dean was exhausted; it was taking its toll staying here only 2 hours sleep at a time. As Michelle left she encouraged him to go home too. He refused; he was going to be there when she woke up. Whenever that was, it was hard to remain positive when 4 times now they had waited with baited breath. 4 times nothing had happened. It was heart breaking for all of them not being able to help in anyway just waiting. Waiting and waiting, nothing happening just the beep beep of the machines with the whoosh of the ventilator.

"Family of Lara Knight" Harry's replacement Janet called.

"Here" Dean called standing up hopefully

"Can you come with me?" Janet asked, the rest of the room looked on in curiosity her hesitant manner suggested bad news. They waited there were no secrets in ICU, they'd walk in and see for themselves shortly.

Entering Dean was sat in a private room joined by Janet and a doctor.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked,

"As you well know we have tried to reduce the sedation 4 times now, Lara isn't waking up. We have done a CT scan which shows no obvious brain damage, but that doesn't mean there isn't any. With your permission we would like to do an EKG, basically a tracing of the electrical activity of her brain it would give us a better idea of why she isn't waking up" the Doctor explained.

"Ok do it" Dean decided firmly, he wanted to know as much as he could about her condition. Good or bad he was craving news.

"You understand the results might not be good news, they might help to prove she is indeed brain dead" Janet warned calmly, it was always better to be blunt

"I do, what happens then?"

"If her EKG shows active brain waves we keep waiting for her to wake up. If it's below normal level we wait 24 hours and repeat it to see if the brain activity is improving."

"Do it" Dean ordered,

"Ok we will do it now we will need you to wait either here or outside"

"I'll wait here" Dean decided not wanting to go outside and face the sympathetic looks of other relatives.

"Ok it should take about 30minutes, help yourself to tea and coffee" Janet offered. Dean did so just to give himself something to do.

It was a long 32 and a half minutes before they both returned. Dean tried to read their body language but they weren't giving anything away.

"Well?" he questioned

"It's mixed news, there is brain activity"

"That's good then" Dean interrupted then reading their expressions realised that was only half the news. "But…"

"But, it's not at normal level now this could go 3 ways, it could improve and she could wake up with no neurological defects, she could wake up with a varying level of brain damage, or she might not ever wake up"

"Which is more likely?" both health professionals exchanged a look as if debating wordlessly the answer.

"At this stage it's too early to determine" the young doctor admitted. "We will know more tomorrow when we repeat the EKG or if she wakes up."

Dean sighed, holding his head in his hands he just wanted her to wake up.

"We'll let you see her now" Janet offered "I think I can see your friend out there" she pointed at Vince.

The visiting pattern repeated all day. As strange as it sounded the more they sat there the more they got into it. They began discussing memories and learning more about the nurse of the day who was caring for her as well as those on neighbouring beds, each had their own story.

The first sign Lara might not ever recover was a little old lady opposite whose alarms suddenly sounded. The curtains were pulled across as staff materialised like magic. More alarms, shouted orders, frantic staff running in and out of the curtain, the whizz of the defibrillator, then the worst sound of all, as the staff left, silence. Although nobody said it, it was obvious she had died. The whole atmosphere of the ward changed as everyone remembered what could happen. How life was so precious and could be taken away. Both Dean and Heidi were shaky, that could be Lara if she didn't wake up. The rest of visiting was quiet, everyone just savouring the time they had with their relative.

This time in the morning it wasn't just Dean sitting in the relative's room as they did the EKG the whole team was there offering silent support.

Doctor Tom walked in followed by Janet.

"Well" Dean asked impatiently. There was a paused as everyone waited for Tom to speak

"Its good news" Tom lead with smiling as the relief passed over the crowd. "Her brain activity is nearing normal." Everyone smiled, Dean almost collapsed on the chair with relief. "This means we will try to wake her up again today. Hopefully she wakes up, if not we will run further tests"

"When?" Dean asked,

"In a few minutes, who is coming in this time?" Janet asked, they knew the rules, only 2 at a time.

After a short deliberation Michelle was nominated, they all knew Dean would go there was no point even arguing.

Once again they entered taking up stations either side as the sedative and muscle relaxers were reduced. This time she moaned, her arm reaching up for the breathing tube automatically.

"Hey Lara" Dean greeted smiling wildly helping one of the nurses to stop her pulling the tube.

"Lara you're in hospital, just relax" Tom instructed keeping his voice calm. She didn't pulling again at the ventilator tubing this time she grasped it tightly as she began coughing her body awake enough to recognise the intrusion. This time they let her she ripped it out coughing. Janet was waiting having anticipated this suctioning the excess fluid as Tom slipped on an oxygen mask.

"What?" she moaned still struggling to come around.

"Hey Lara it's good to see you awake?" Dean was now grinning madly.

"Dean?" She checked having not opened her eyes properly

"Yeah" Dean replied ecstatically she remember who he was.

"Why are you in my room?" She asked her voice raspy from the tube.

"I'm not, were in the hospital" Dean clarified

"Are you ok?" Lara questioned

"I'm fine" Dean replied wondering if this was the level they were operating at now.

"Good" Lara decided, there was a pause "Dean why are we here?"

"You were hurt" Michelle told her butting in she could see Lara was tiring and needed to sleep but at the same time didn't want her to.

"Michelle?" Lara guessed her eyes closing.

"Sleep Lara we'll come back later." She promised but it was too late Lara was already asleep.

They left without a fight even though visiting wasn't over both suddenly exhausted. Outside thy relayed the news to the others who were all overjoyed.

"Right Dean you need to go home and sleep. Lara is going to need you a lot more perky than you are now. Chase will drive you there I don't want to see you here for at least 8 hours." Dean didn't argue he knew he was beat.

"Vince, Jordan and myself need to go to the station. That's leaves Heidi here today if you want to stay" Michelle offered, it wasn't an order.

"I'll stay" Heidi decided.

From then on things went remarkably quick, the next day Lara was transferred to a surgical ward. The oxygen and intensive monitoring was off even the fluids had stopped and the biggest surprise was that she was walking. Admittedly not very far or fast but it was a start.

3 days later she was discharged. The police had sent a team to clean her house but even walking in was hard. Without Dean she would have never made it inside. As it was she was sleeping in the guest bedroom unable to go inside her own. Dean was staying over on the sofa offering what support he could but soon he had to go back to work. They were already on senior down, to have Dean not coming in was ok for a week but any longer they'd struggle.

Lara chose to go in with him. She did the radio calls and the filing; it also meant she had time to see a counsellor. Something to everyone's surprise she did without fighting.

It had been 6 weeks since the incident and Lara was signed off both by the Doctor and the Counsellor and yet she still hadn't been out in the field. Michelle and Vince were giving her time but it was running short.

Dean had had enough. Inviting Lara out for a drive in the truck hoping there would be a call whilst they were out. There was Dean took it. Lara sat in silence unable to protest but too scared to help. Her counsellor had warned her the first one would be the hardest. As they arrived it mirrored the last RTA Lara had been at. She froze for almost a minute, as she flashed back to the scene 6weeks back. Dean pulled her out of it.

"Lara move" he ordered. She did running with him to the car accident. She took the wife. This time she had a pulse. Easily Lara helped her out of the car running back for the daughter. Soon the ambulances arrived and the rest of the team as soon as she could she excused herself sitting in the car. Dean joined her after.

"You did well they are all going to be ok"

"Thanks" Lara replied surprised she had done it, gone once more into the deep and survived.

It would take time but she was nearly there.


End file.
